Listen to the Doors inside your house or the rain outside your window?
Eat food you love, or food that loves you?
Swim with dolphins or go scuba diving with sharks?
Have horrible sex with a good friend or good sex with a horrible friend?
Talk with your mouth or type with your fingers?
Ride a horse or ride a cherry '66 Mustang?
Have everybody know you for your nice ways or have everybody know you for you nice ass?
Be shot in the leg or the arm?
Drink tequila with semen (you thought was the worm) or rum and coke with your mom and catch her masturbating?
Find irrefutable facts that show Jesus is actually nonexistent or shaky facts that indicate Jesus lives in your closet and has performed forced sex on you while passed out more than once?
Be fat and ugly with a heart of gold or kind of cute and kind of in shape with a heart of dead lead?
Have your teeth cleaned or have your lungs cleaned?
Be married to someone ugly who cares about you or someone ugly who has impressive genitalia but doesn't really love you?
Be a superhero or a supervillan?
Have your breath always smelling of feces or have one of your eyeballs turned inside out permanently?
Be closeminded and sure you were going to heaven or be openminded but be sure you were going to hell?
Be killed with a gunshot to the head or as a splatter at the bottom of a tall building?
Fart on the person you like most or be farted on by the person you most like?
Find a half eaten worm in your food or a whole worm in your mouth?
Be considered artistic and fun but dorky or stiff and boring, but attractive?
Have a pie or a cake flung in your face?
Get herpes on your face and genitals or malignant cancer?
Drink liquor or beers?